Not all Americans:
• are fat
• like McDonald’s
• like meat
• drink coffee
• PouR THEIR TEA IN THE BOSTON HARBOR
• HAVE A PET EAGLE
all i learned from this nudes leak debacle is that beyonce don’t fuck with jay-z like that nigga prolly in the cut waitin for pics and all he gettin is emojis
beyonce send that nigga polaroid nudes, in a case that only open wit his finger print, by pony express and that shit burst in to flames after 4 seconds like a snapchat.
tell me a secret
One time during class my drama/english teacher, who’s a devout vegan and all about not killing animals, accidentally stepped on a ladybug. He froze up and slowly cradles it in his hand and he was so heartbroken and started quoting Hamlet.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was a red m&m.
I can’t breathe